Tuesday Twofers

BOGO and Twofers mean the same thing, pretty much. Buy one, you get another one free. Buy two, each are 1/2 price. Either way, it’s a bargain. Whether you need two of one thing or not.

My reading for today talked about forgiveness. Forgiveness is really a twofer, too. If you forgive someone, you can’t be damaged anymore by the old hurts someone inflicted upon you. That’s really a blessing, isn’t it? Forgiveness is something we need. You don’t have to trust the person anymore. In fact, it’s probably better if you don’t trust them. Forgiving them doesn’t mean you let them hurt or abuse you anymore. You let go of the resentment towards them. Forgiving them doesn’t mean you have to be around them, either. Stay the heck away from them! You lighten your load. It’s no longer controlling your thinking or your actions. You have let go. Good for you! Forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you.

I’ve forgiven some folks in my life. Some, and I’m still trying to forgive others. I can forgive easier if you hurt or abused me than I can forgive you for hurting my kids. It may be the Mama Bear in me, but I’m working on that as well. I’m trying to practice what I preach and read and write. It’s hard. It’s something that will take daily attention, but not brooding about. Work a little, go on to something positive. It helps, believe me. Know when to give it up.

Contribute Positive Energy!

The hurts are ugly, the positive is beautiful. The beautiful soon overpowers the ugly. It’s easier to let go. Stop beating yourself up for trusting when you shouldn’t have, for trying to help someone who didn’t want help, for thinking they wanted to get better with your help. They are untrustworthy, unable to accept help, and will make you out to be the bad guy when they’ve decided they don’t want to change because it’s too hard. It’s all on them, not you. Yes, I’ve been in situations where I’ve given too much, where I’ve cared more than they have, where I’ve felt the sting of rejection when they turn on you as the problem. It’s never us. It’s them. Refuse to accept their blame. It’s not yours to carry.

We need to care for ourselves, deflect blame, and forgive them. It IS them, not us. It’s called a lot of things, codependency, bad choices, whatever you want to call it. If you’ve been raised in a home where the blame was transferred to you, you didn’t deserve it. You didn’t “make them do that.” They did it themselves. Think. Think about how you talk to your kids. Teenagers, young children, toddlers, even babies.

Think about how you talk to your co-quarantined family. Even if you’re suffering from cabin fever, be kind. Be nice. Treat them the way you want to be treated. When you get back out into the world, be kind to the service workers. The cooks, waitstaff, owners, bartenders, counter help, nurses, aides, cleaning people, repair people, first responders, doctors, and everyone. These, as they say, are strange times. Let go of your baggage, and live in the here and now. Living is NOW, not yesterday or tomorrow. Live now and make beautiful memories, not regrets. Your future, and the future of others, depends on it.

I’m feeling the need to do some piecing on the quilt blocks when I finish here. It is calling to me. That and laundry (are you sure only two people live here? Who dirtied all these clothes?) and maybe cutting out some more masks. I’m sending some to family in South Dakota. Good thing they’re patient!

Thanks for reading today. I’m eager to jump into that quilt. It’s calling my name, and hopefully, they’ll be something to show you tomorrow. I’ll see you then!

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