The Cynic

Do you know anyone who can take your good mood and deflate it? I know quite a few people who are like that. Doom and gloom all the way. I have to limit my exposure to them for sure. It’s hard when everything you try to talk about gets turned around. The unhappiness seeps from their pores. Toxic.

I’m learning how to put my reactions into a box and leave the box with them when I leave. I cannot carry it with me and into our home. Some people would complain no matter what. I think some of it is due to depression, too much thinking, regrets they cannot shed, and a variety of other things. I am fortunate to have a happy life. It is a lot of work. It takes a lot to maintain it. Outside forces (the news, negative people, and some circumstances) try to permeate my boundaries and upset my balance. I cannot let them in my head. They are not welcome.

I would much rather spend time with people who spread love and joy than folks who spread hate and discontent. Who wouldn’t? Yesterday was a day Mom was having a pity party, I think. She was hard to work around. The four hours I spent with her seemed like an eternity. I couldn’t point out enough positive things to her. Sometimes I pray for patience. She complains constantly about the fundraising efforts on PBS. She always tells me she calls them money-mongers. If I hear about how terrible she thinks Julia Child is one more time, I may lose my mind. I just let her talk.

I know she’s not long for this earth and I’ll miss her. Or she could live another ten years. She’s losing strength every day. She needs to use a walker when we leave the house; I think. She refuses. My two younger brothers are vigilant with her. One lives across the street and he checks on her at least twice a day. When she’s wobbly, I stay right by her. It’s all you can do.

I hope when I’m nearly 92 I don’t complain like that. I think it’s all from unresolved issues in her life. She rehashes conflicts with her three sisters over and over. She can’t let things go. The sisters are all gone. Two didn’t want funerals. She didn’t get closure with them. I wish she could make peace in her life. I’m praying for her and will try to be a dutiful daughter. I have control over my part of the relationship.

I need to listen to my music and lighten my thoughts. It’s a nice day, and it will not snow like in Colorado. My little Kayla will get a blizzard on her birthday tomorrow! What a joyous occasion! I love birthdays, always have. It’s one day that is just for you. I’ll be 69 years old in a couple of months. The Babe will be 71. We’ve been through a lot and are still going strong. We’ve had heartbreak, illness, death, grandbabies, hope, love, and dreams. Hope and love always win. They have to.

Thanks for reading today. Let’s all spread some joy and happiness today. Someone may really need it. There are isolated people in the world. The forgotten ones. The ones alone with their memories. All people repeat stories. It’s not just older people. Let’s be patient with our elders when they repeat stories. Or when they complain. Learn a lesson from it. Tell wonderful stories. Tell stories that make you laugh. Tell stories about your family. Remember, good times. Look forward to many more. Be Kind. Be Patient. Be Considerate. It’ll improve our worlds. See you tomorrow.

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