I’m sharing a video today of a show from Nebraska News Network, called Quarantine Tonight. Last night, they featured a local band, the Ken Sitler Band. They play Eagles, Pearl Jam, Rock and Roll, and some original songs. Very accomplished musicians. I believe in broadening my musical horizons. It’s a good show, and different from my normal taste. And I like it! You may, too.
Orestes said, “Often the test of courage is not to die, but to live.” How very true that is. Why? When I was young, I thought my only life and goal was to be a wife and mother. I honestly knew in my heart I would die, I would cease to exist if anything happened to my husband or children. God showed me that wasn’t true.
When my oldest son drowned and was revived the summer between kindergarten and first grade, I felt that fact hit me square in the face. My son was in the hospital with possible brain damage, and I was still functioning. I was still taking care of his little brother Nick, I was still pregnant with my daughter, and God sent me many messages that blew my childish beliefs out of the water.
My marriage fell apart, and I didn’t die. Instead, I flourished. God gave me the courage to live, and to make my life so much fuller by leaving. It’s been such a great experience these last nearly 40 years. Sometimes you have to break things apart to make them whole again. I learned. I grew. I flourished. My son was normal, and he’s a very special spirit. I’m sure he saw God that day. He had more things to do. He’s one of the happiest and calmest people I have ever met. I do think my daughter felt my emotional turmoil when the accident happened. I don’t think that can be hidden from a baby growing inside of a mother’s body. I worried she would have issues upon her birth. She didn’t. I was so grateful.
I stood against the destructive patterns I formed and observed growing up. I didn’t treat my kids as I was treated. In doing that, I probably missed giving them what they needed; I gave them what was missing from me. If I could have a re-do, I’d take it. But I can’t. All I can do is ask for forgiveness where it’s appropriate. Create healthier boundaries, guidelines for what I’ll tolerate and what I won’t. Respect demands that of us. We were meant to live bigger than we do. I’m learning some of that with Carol Gino this week. She is a very wise woman about how spirits work in our lives. I’ve had that happen, with my son drowning and when my dad died. It’s quite powerful.
It’s up to us where our lives are headed. Yes, we can choose to be stagnant. Or we can choose to grow and evolve. It’s easy to curl up and want to die. It’s hard to stand and face the fury of life. The strength you can develop is unbelievable at first, until you grow to rely on it. It’s part of who you are. It’s part of what you’ve hidden because God knows why. Don’t hide your light anymore. Show it to the world. Your story could be just what someone needs to hear. Thank you for reading today. Be Kind. Be Courageous. Gain Strength. Gain Resolve. Use your superpowers for good. See you tomorrow. Be Careful out there!