Taco Tuesday and Other Truths

You won’t believe what I just did. After about 45 minutes of working on a pretty good blog (if I must say so myself!), I hit the wrong key and exited from the 700 word masterpiece I was nearly finished with. Much to my dismay. Wow. It’s vanished in cyberspace. Do I have any idea how to reconstruct it? Heck, now. So for now, it’s:

Take Two Tuesday and Other Truths

There is a reason anyone who uses a computer will always tell you: Save Often! Save Before Printing! Save After Changing! So I just committed the #1 mishap in computer use history. I hadn’t saved. So now, upwards and onwards, while saving often.

Today is another Gavin day for the Babe and I. We will pick him up and he’ll be contented to play with the dogs all afternoon. They like him, too. He has loved many of our dogs through his eight years, some he remembers, some not. But we have photos, and he asks questions about their personalities and quirks. He tells me, “Grandma, all dogs deserve love.”

I tell him back, “Yes, Gavin. And all kids deserve love, too.” And he agrees with me. A long time ago, a good friend of mine told me how kids do listen to what you tell them, even though it seems as if they have no idea you exist. They listen and you can see they did when you observe them growing up and being a leader with others. And she was right.

My friend passed away several years ago, and it was sad for everyone who knew her. She was a good lady, always there to help. Always there if you needed to talk. She had several types of cancer in her lifetime, which eventually took her. She was so strong, but what choice did she have? I’m so glad to have good memories of many talks with her. I still consult my mental pages of the Joyce Cross Alexander Book of Hope, Faith, and Love.

Confidence is a great asset if you have it. It is so eluding if you can’t stand up for yourself, either not caring to or by not knowing how. My lack was in not knowing how. There was a fine line between confidence and vanity, according to our elders in the 1950s and 1960s. Especially if you were a girl. I believe this is why many Moms lived lives through their children. Their children’s successes became theirs. Their children’s failures became theirs, also. (The term, “I have failed as a Mother,”) that TV character Beverly Goldberg uses is used for humor, but I believe there were a lot of Mom’s who felt they were failures. It’s a shame it took women so long to find their worth in additional areas besides motherhood. Don’t get me wrong, motherhood is wonderful and fulfilling, as long as you raise those children to leave you. Your job is to teach them so they can leave you, as it should be.

I have to say, it’s harder to let go when you’re a single parent, in my opinion. I struggled for a long time trying to figure out, “So, what’s next?” I still had a good relationship with my three kids, but I hadn’t a clue what to do with all that time, despite all my hobbies. I finished college for me. I was happy to have earned a promotion at work, so I would finally have a great income. (Mom always said when you don’t need money anymore is when it comes your way.)

I became ill after that, and within six years could no longer work. At the age of 49. That was a blow to me. I turned it into gratitude, though, but being grateful I was well and working until my kids could go out on their own. After that I met the Babe. By the time I couldn’t work, we were married and my time was filled. I’ve picked up on a lot of my old interests and some new ones, too. Filling my time is no longer a problem.

So with all that, thank you for reading today. Keep good thoughts in your heart today. Be positive. Wash up, wipe down, wear masks. We’ll all come out on the other side of all this in a better place. I’ll see you tomorrow. And by then, maybe I’ll remember what I wrote about in the blog that is now forever lost, out there floating in the wasteland of the Internet, unfinished.

More Monday

I just had a scare. After the Babe left for the VFW Post to do bookwork, I saw a clip of the news with firefighters at yet another apartment fire at 106 & Charles. My pulse quickened, my stomach rolled, my heart was in my mouth. Not again. Not another crappy life event for my eldest, Frankie and the roommate, Ryan. Not again. Please God.

Luckily, the Babe was at 108 & Maple and could run over to see exactly where the fire was. Whew! It was in a different building, one Frankie lived in when he thought his girlfriend would move in with him. So glad he dodged the bullet – (both of them). All is well, my pulse is now normal, stomach back where it belongs, and my heart is back on my sleeve. Back to normal.

This morning is a trip to the dentist. I’m a teeth grinder. I’m not aware of it, I just do it a lot. I often wake up with huge bites in my cheeks that I have no idea where they came from. My son Nick does it, too. I have some triangular bone fragments in my lower jaw that are sharp enough to interfere with my partial bridge. Sometimes they dull on their own, other times a grinder has to have surgery to remove the bone fragments. Wow. I’m hoping they are better than a month ago and don’t need a surgical intervention.

Yesterday afternoon, we attended the Parents/Grandparent’s show for Addison. She has attended Acapriccio Dance Studio since age two and a half. She has come a long way from that little girl who, at her first recital, marched on stage and faced the back curtain. After her first twirl, she figured it out and was flawless the rest of that first performance. Now she can flip without putting a finger on the floor, she can twirl again and again and again and again . . . until I get dizzy watching. She is tall, beautiful, and man, can she dance. You can tell she has put ten years of hard work into competition dance. As has her family. The families dedicate themselves and all the members of each family to competition dance each year. It keeps the kids busy beyond belief.

Watching the girls yesterday – all of them, from the tiny tots to the high school girls – I saw little girls with dreams become young women with crazy skills. We have seen many of the high schoolers grow up in front of our eyes. They have all bloomed where they are planted. They believed and worked hard. It was a joy to see them.

None of the girls yesterday thought their dreams were dumb. They believed they could do it. The little faces of the smallest girls reflected fun, magical transformations. They were all in it to be their best. I don’t believe the dream I’ve had of publishing books is dumb. I’m on my way, and it takes a lot of practice, too. I’ve imagined myself at a book launch party. I’ve imagined being interviewed about the book. Only my son Frankie knows who I imagine is interviewing. He laughed and said, “That’s cool, Mom.” He is my best fan, followed by the Babe. I’ve just known Frankie longer!

Thank you for taking the time to read today. Go out and make it a great day, I am! A lot could go and it will still be a great day for us because the worst (a second apartment fire) did not happen. We are all forever grateful. Hope to see you tomorrow!