Tuesday Twofers

BOGO and Twofers mean the same thing, pretty much. Buy one, you get another one free. Buy two, each are 1/2 price. Either way, it’s a bargain. Whether you need two of one thing or not.

My reading for today talked about forgiveness. Forgiveness is really a twofer, too. If you forgive someone, you can’t be damaged anymore by the old hurts someone inflicted upon you. That’s really a blessing, isn’t it? Forgiveness is something we need. You don’t have to trust the person anymore. In fact, it’s probably better if you don’t trust them. Forgiving them doesn’t mean you let them hurt or abuse you anymore. You let go of the resentment towards them. Forgiving them doesn’t mean you have to be around them, either. Stay the heck away from them! You lighten your load. It’s no longer controlling your thinking or your actions. You have let go. Good for you! Forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you.

I’ve forgiven some folks in my life. Some, and I’m still trying to forgive others. I can forgive easier if you hurt or abused me than I can forgive you for hurting my kids. It may be the Mama Bear in me, but I’m working on that as well. I’m trying to practice what I preach and read and write. It’s hard. It’s something that will take daily attention, but not brooding about. Work a little, go on to something positive. It helps, believe me. Know when to give it up.

Contribute Positive Energy!

The hurts are ugly, the positive is beautiful. The beautiful soon overpowers the ugly. It’s easier to let go. Stop beating yourself up for trusting when you shouldn’t have, for trying to help someone who didn’t want help, for thinking they wanted to get better with your help. They are untrustworthy, unable to accept help, and will make you out to be the bad guy when they’ve decided they don’t want to change because it’s too hard. It’s all on them, not you. Yes, I’ve been in situations where I’ve given too much, where I’ve cared more than they have, where I’ve felt the sting of rejection when they turn on you as the problem. It’s never us. It’s them. Refuse to accept their blame. It’s not yours to carry.

We need to care for ourselves, deflect blame, and forgive them. It IS them, not us. It’s called a lot of things, codependency, bad choices, whatever you want to call it. If you’ve been raised in a home where the blame was transferred to you, you didn’t deserve it. You didn’t “make them do that.” They did it themselves. Think. Think about how you talk to your kids. Teenagers, young children, toddlers, even babies.

Think about how you talk to your co-quarantined family. Even if you’re suffering from cabin fever, be kind. Be nice. Treat them the way you want to be treated. When you get back out into the world, be kind to the service workers. The cooks, waitstaff, owners, bartenders, counter help, nurses, aides, cleaning people, repair people, first responders, doctors, and everyone. These, as they say, are strange times. Let go of your baggage, and live in the here and now. Living is NOW, not yesterday or tomorrow. Live now and make beautiful memories, not regrets. Your future, and the future of others, depends on it.

I’m feeling the need to do some piecing on the quilt blocks when I finish here. It is calling to me. That and laundry (are you sure only two people live here? Who dirtied all these clothes?) and maybe cutting out some more masks. I’m sending some to family in South Dakota. Good thing they’re patient!

Thanks for reading today. I’m eager to jump into that quilt. It’s calling my name, and hopefully, they’ll be something to show you tomorrow. I’ll see you then!

Simply Saturday

Wow, it’s tepid in my studio this morning! No, it’s COLD! Our home faces west and the two bedrooms at the front of the house are freezing when it’s this frigid outside. We are in Nebraska, and it’s January. We no longer dress as Ralphie’s little brother in A Christmas Story, but maybe we should. When we trudged to school in four feet of sleet, eight feet of snow, and no provisions, we never thought about being chilled. If you were unfortunate enough to be female during that era, you had to wear a dress, a uniform skirt, or uniform jumper. It was cold! Wait, I remember in kindergarten and first grade I had leggings. They were not the skin tight clingy kind we wear now that are fashionable not serviceable to wear. They were more like snowsuit coveralls. Wool. Lined and warm. Hot. But while you wore them to school, you had to shed them once you removed overshoes, hat, sweater, muffler, mittens held in by elasticized clips. If you were a cool kid whose Mom didn’t care about your health, you had earmuffs. We refrained from outdoor recess on those days.  We would have to get dressed almost after we undressed, to leave by the bell. The good old days. Nope. Oh, and since I went to Catholic school grades one through twelve, first grade saw me and countless others sit through an hour Mass every morning with all those clothes on in Church.  I swear it wasn’t heated for that hour, because it never felt that hot, unless you were coming down with something. 

Have you known someone who seems to get angry a lot? Very riled up over the slightest little thing? I know of quite a few. It is unnerving for the bystanders. The angry ones usually throw temper tantrums of sorts. They may slam items down on a table. They may slam doors, windows, items, or anything they might get their hands on. Or cuss a blue streak. Or kick a dog, or hit another human. None of this is acceptable behavior. I am so glad to be away from this behavior now. It rattles me when I experience it. Intimidating people is never ok. All you do is make them glad they’re not around you when you behave like this all the time.

What good does this do those who have outbursts? They think they are just venting. Just venting is discussing what made you angry, not making people around you jump and hope you can’t see them should your anger spew any further. Letting of steam is liable to burn those you love. You have no right to affect other people with your tantrum. Period.

A tirade cannot solve a problem. You cannot rain on other people because you want a storm. Be kind. Be patient. Be gentle. And learn to deal with anger rather than spew it.

New selections for Raabe Ranch

On a brighter note, how does it go when you and your partner/spouse/friend/whoever lives with you pick out paint colors? First, my referral to Raabe Ranch is a joke. We live in a neighborhood but our lot is probably twice the size of our old house, in a newer neighborhood. We have a beautiful treeline behind us and a little creek. I joke it’s Raabe Ranch because the dogs have so much room to run in. And play in. And get tired in. Like a corral. We loved the house and adored the yard. Even though it’s large, when we can’t take care of it anymore, we’ll hire it done.

Back to selecting paint colors. The Babe and I always talk things out first. He did some painting three years ago when we first moved in here and did the master bath last summer after the big remodel by Re-Bath. He can officially retire from doing so again. Unless you love painting, by the time a guy is nearly seventy, he can hire it done. This will be the first time we hired a company, so I’ll let you know how it goes. The price was great so we’ll proceed. The colors are bright and happy. We seem to favor that type. The blues are for the master bedroom. Above the blue will be the laundry room. Left of the blue is gentle grape for the main bath. I can just see deep purple towels or even black ones in there. Luxurious! We will get the woodwork repainted in both bathrooms, too. It always seems to show wear and tear because of the water, humidity, and steam. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

I am off to do more reading and hopefully some note taking or outlining for this re-write. Writing and publishing the blog in the morning opens up my afternoon so I can spend more time doing creative things. Might consider hand quilting a quilt my grandma hand pieced early one hundred years ago. By the fire, where it’s warm. Or even crochet on a project I’d like to do. By the fire. Or read a book for pleasure. By the fire. Are you sensing a theme here?

By the time we publish this, I have put away Santa where he belongs!

Thank you so much for stopping by and reading this morning/afternoon. I’m grateful you did. Hope you stop by again tomorrow. I’ll be here, cold or not!