Wonderful Wednesday

Hi, folks! It’s another sunny summery day in Nebraska. I know we need rain, it’s just so much more beautiful when we can enjoy sunshine. The pups have been in and out, and in and out. They’re just getting warmed up! The header today has a picture of Lexie when we first had her. She weighed 4 pounds and was 4 weeks old. We did get Roxie at the same time, she had a parasite and only weighed 3 1/2 pounds. The mom was sick, so they were placed as soon as possible. They were only on solid food for two days. Lots of love later, we’ve had wonderful companionship with them.

I’ve seen many articles written on forgiveness lately. Not sure if I’m being told something or if it’s a coincidence. It is hard to forgive another who hurt you to the depths of your being. I believe it’s worse when you don’t know why they did what they did to you. In situations like this, I think women tend to overthink and take too much responsibility for doing something wrong. Nothing is further than the truth! You picked the wrong person with which to share that part of you!

That last sentence is truth spoken with the utmost love. Really. I have done that more than a few times. Not everyone is a candidate to know you and your insecurities/faults/secrets. They gain your trust (because you’re a trusting person), and use the information to hurt you deeply later. Been there, done that, over and over.

One thing I can tell you, it’s not always the guys fault. They are either a cad or they don’t care. Or they are a cad and they don’t care. We women are by nature sharers. Adult Child of an Alcoholic? You’re probably just following the family tradition of dysfunction. It manifests itself all over your life, and you don’t even drink. The dysfunction is learned behavior, passed down from generation to generation. If you want to change your life, you can learn a new behavior. It took me a long, long time to unlearn behaviors that no longer served my life. Once I learned my truth, life has been so incredible. I believe I was in the dark all those years, struggling with who I was and who I attracted, I wasn’t ready to see I played a part in all of it. Not playing that game anymore.

I’m also reading a lot about creating new habits. It is very hard to do that if you historically have done the opposite, that is, discouraged new habits. Being positive and forward thinking is hard to do, you need a lot of practice. Before I started thinking for myself, I was negative. I thought all people were. I thought all adults were.

I thought love always hurt. That’s what all the music I listened to told me. I saw examples all around me. I came to expect hurt and disappointment in love. Movies always portrayed dramatic arguments between couples, “Love is never having to say you’re sorry.” I heartily disagree with that statement. Love Story was the movie people talked about when I married young (19). Now that I’m a grown woman, I’ve learned.

Love is exactly why you have to say you’re sorry.

You will be surprised by what you hear.

Forgiveness is for you, not for them. It doesn’t let them off the hook, it doesn’t mean you have to accept treatment that is abusive, verbally and certainly not physically. Abuse starts out verbal. That’s what kept someone like me under control. I’d go along to get along, never thinking there was a choice. Now I see nothing but choices. Time changes everything. So does knowledge. And self-esteem.

When the Babe’s mom was clearing out her home before going to the nursing home, she made a photo album for each of her kids. It was so fun to look back at the Babe’s life in photos. An ornery little tow headed kid, dimples galore, and such an impish grin. Handsome, strong, young. We all were once. It was beautiful photos of him holding his children the first time, coming home from Vietnam, gathering with his extended family, and the like. When he turned the page to his second marriage, his mom said, “Oh, I should have cut Debbie out of these.”

I told her, “Oh, it’s ok, I have a past, too. I’m with him now, that’s all that matters to me. The Debbie years have been over for quite a while.”

I joked with her when we got to the photos I was in, “Now we’re in the Kathy years!” She laughed. How I miss that beautiful lady. She raised a good man. And his brother. And two good women in his sisters. We don’t see them nearly enough. The Babe’s sister-in-law passed about six months after his mom did. She was adamant we need to seek each other out, keep the connections alive. She was right. Miss her, too.

It’s a good feeling to forgive past loves, past friends, past hurts. It doesn’t mean you forget. You need to remember what people are capable of to forgive them. That keeps you from repeating the mistake. And yes, they were mistakes. Situations that happened are over, please work to put them in their proper places. Forgiveness. A mighty gift you give yourself.

I love the sentiment expressed here!

This is a great sentiment. I would change it to read: “Because I do not want to live without you.” We are both grown enough to know life will go on without each other. One of us will be left alone when one of us dies. That is what we mean by this. I’m delighted to be the last. Trust me, we have words. We get mad at each other. We get over it quickly. We try to live every day like it could be our last together. No regrets that way. It’s never, ever too late!

My wish for all of my single friends: May you find the kind of love you need and want. I know it’s hard. When you least expect it, you will find it. Be open. Protect your heart, though. It will happen. Like you, I was skeptical (maybe even negative). I was never more wrong in my life. You will see. Message or comment to me when it happens for you.

Thank you for reading today, I appreciate it. Keep distancing, masking, washing hands, sanitizing, and being safe. No political agenda here. Just want you all to be healthy. If you are, then I am. And I’ll be one step closer to being able to meet our newest grandson. Yes! Be safe. See you tomorrow!

Taco Tuesday and Other Truths

You won’t believe what I just did. After about 45 minutes of working on a pretty good blog (if I must say so myself!), I hit the wrong key and exited from the 700 word masterpiece I was nearly finished with. Much to my dismay. Wow. It’s vanished in cyberspace. Do I have any idea how to reconstruct it? Heck, now. So for now, it’s:

Take Two Tuesday and Other Truths

There is a reason anyone who uses a computer will always tell you: Save Often! Save Before Printing! Save After Changing! So I just committed the #1 mishap in computer use history. I hadn’t saved. So now, upwards and onwards, while saving often.

Today is another Gavin day for the Babe and I. We will pick him up and he’ll be contented to play with the dogs all afternoon. They like him, too. He has loved many of our dogs through his eight years, some he remembers, some not. But we have photos, and he asks questions about their personalities and quirks. He tells me, “Grandma, all dogs deserve love.”

I tell him back, “Yes, Gavin. And all kids deserve love, too.” And he agrees with me. A long time ago, a good friend of mine told me how kids do listen to what you tell them, even though it seems as if they have no idea you exist. They listen and you can see they did when you observe them growing up and being a leader with others. And she was right.

My friend passed away several years ago, and it was sad for everyone who knew her. She was a good lady, always there to help. Always there if you needed to talk. She had several types of cancer in her lifetime, which eventually took her. She was so strong, but what choice did she have? I’m so glad to have good memories of many talks with her. I still consult my mental pages of the Joyce Cross Alexander Book of Hope, Faith, and Love.

Confidence is a great asset if you have it. It is so eluding if you can’t stand up for yourself, either not caring to or by not knowing how. My lack was in not knowing how. There was a fine line between confidence and vanity, according to our elders in the 1950s and 1960s. Especially if you were a girl. I believe this is why many Moms lived lives through their children. Their children’s successes became theirs. Their children’s failures became theirs, also. (The term, “I have failed as a Mother,”) that TV character Beverly Goldberg uses is used for humor, but I believe there were a lot of Mom’s who felt they were failures. It’s a shame it took women so long to find their worth in additional areas besides motherhood. Don’t get me wrong, motherhood is wonderful and fulfilling, as long as you raise those children to leave you. Your job is to teach them so they can leave you, as it should be.

I have to say, it’s harder to let go when you’re a single parent, in my opinion. I struggled for a long time trying to figure out, “So, what’s next?” I still had a good relationship with my three kids, but I hadn’t a clue what to do with all that time, despite all my hobbies. I finished college for me. I was happy to have earned a promotion at work, so I would finally have a great income. (Mom always said when you don’t need money anymore is when it comes your way.)

I became ill after that, and within six years could no longer work. At the age of 49. That was a blow to me. I turned it into gratitude, though, but being grateful I was well and working until my kids could go out on their own. After that I met the Babe. By the time I couldn’t work, we were married and my time was filled. I’ve picked up on a lot of my old interests and some new ones, too. Filling my time is no longer a problem.

So with all that, thank you for reading today. Keep good thoughts in your heart today. Be positive. Wash up, wipe down, wear masks. We’ll all come out on the other side of all this in a better place. I’ll see you tomorrow. And by then, maybe I’ll remember what I wrote about in the blog that is now forever lost, out there floating in the wasteland of the Internet, unfinished.

Ahhhh Sunday!

Today is a special day for my cousin’s family. We gathered at a local winery to have a wedding shower for his oldest daughter. What a happy family. They have two daughters getting married this year! Mike and his wife Mary are taking it in stride. They are one of the best couples you could ever find. They are very devoted to the Knights of Colombus, and have traveled well with the group. Mike has been blessed to kiss the ring of the Pope during a special audience. What an honor!

Mom will be in her glory, since she is the elder of this tribe. She loves to see the kids, their kids, and grandkids. All of her sisters will be watching from heaven. Aunt Lois will play jokes on everyone. Aunt Carol will be in the food line four times, claiming each trip is for another person each time. Aunt Judy will be making funny faces at any babies present. I miss my aunts, and am glad for all the good memories with each of them. Aunt Lois and Uncle Joe in particular would have been so proud of the events of the day. Cousin Mike is the host with the most, just in line behind his dad, who was the quintessential host of all time. Such good memories.

Brides are so happy at their showers. Katelynn look stunning! She had the most beautiful off white lace dress on, I loved it. Can’t wait to see her wedding dress. My late Aunt Carol told me about her granddaughter in Rapid City, who is getting married at a later date, and said, “It’s so nice to see a young couple so in love and working together, when they are just starting out.” She was right. Sometimes you get jaded or forget the thrill or just don’t think about the spark anymore. My cousins are happy people and happy couples. The men married to the girls were all present in another room. They jumped into action when it came time to clean up the room and carry stuff to the cars. I know Lois and Joe were smiling down from heaven. Their six noisy, crazy, good people kids, are all doing fine. You can tell they had good teachers of good values, caring, and taking care of each other. We didn’t get to meet the new baby in the family, but her mama was wise to stay home, she doesn’t want to expose the baby to any flu or strange germs. I don’t blame her, babies are too precious, and that’s a parents job, protect those babies! We’ll meet her later. Stay safe, sweet baby!

I realized yesterday, I’ve hit a milestone of sorts with my novel re-write. I’ve got 40K words now! That’s up about 6K, so it seems I’m making more progress than I thought. Love when that happens! Tomorrow is a morning with the house cleaning crew, so I’ll be entertaining the pups while the girls clean the house up and down. So fortunate to be able to afford this service. It helps me so much.

More novel work tomorrow, hoping time permits. And I’m seriously behind on the I Create Daily Art Challenge for February, 2020. I need some serious catching up. Need to locate the jean jacket pattern I bought to make a dusty pink jean jacket from. There is enough for pants, too. The fabric is a yummy soft draping stretchy denim. Hope to at least get it cut out during February. Folks, it’s a problem when you like a lot of different creative things. Hope to coordinate them someday. Soon.

In the meantime, if you live in town or close to family, plan an event like a pot luck where everyone brings a dish and gets together. The sooner the better. Life is so scattered anymore, keep in touch with the people who came from where you came. Who came from the same folks you did. Their kids and grandkids will have a rich history, and lots of memories to fall back on.

Thanks for reading today, I appreciate it so much. Have a great Sunday evening, and I’ll see you here tomorrow. Good Evening!

Good Saturday Morning!

Hoping you are enjoying a sunny morning like we have here in Gretna, NE. As David Letterman used to say, “from the Home Office in Wahoo, NE.” (Remember?) I suppose this would be true. International Headquarters, the place where it all began, and some other descriptions. Can you think of any that are apt? Comment, and let’s have fun with it. Home Office in Gretna, NE.

You know, we are slowly gaining more readers. I’m delighted you take the time to read, share, and tell your friends about my blog. It’s great to be relevant. Today (after we do an errand for the VFW which includes checking the mail) is going to be a day or writing. This week got away from me again, and I need to catch up on the I Art Daily challenge for February. It seems my brain is full of ideas and sketches yet I continue to run out of time in the day. This is what retirements is, I guess. It is better than having your time drag on. I have never understood the work “bored.” As kids, we were never allowed to say the word. Kind of like Voldemort. (He who should not be named).

Bored is a word kids use now. I believe their parents (my children’s ages) introduced the word when kids were raising a ruckus or needing attention when the parents are busy. Busy doing things like driving, ordering dinner, and a host of other things. We used to live a long way from our daughter Tracy and her family. It took 45 minutes to get from their home to ours. By about 30 minutes meltdowns began. They were tired of sitting in the carseat. (Not bored, however). I would start singing to them. Not words to a song, just make a melody. Addison would stop being fussy. She would smile at me. And she would mimic what I was doing.

Gavin was such a different kid. Poor guy had acid reflux so bad it was horrible. He lived in a bib until he was a year old. Upset tummies are bad as adults, and worse for babies. Again, he wasn’t bored. He needed a different tune than Addison had. He was a tougher nut to crack, but we got him to stop crying. He favored men as a kid, and there was a time I thought he didn’t like me. He now tells me he’s so lucky to have a Grandma like me. His Mama thinks he’s a schmoozer. Could be. But it works. We have a great time together. Coloring, painting, playing games.

One time, Gavin and Addison were both with us. Gavin said he was bored. Addison said, “You can’t use that word around Grandma. Grandma says there is no such thing.” She found him something to do and he wasn’t bored anymore. What I’m saying is let your kids and grandkids learn to entertain themselves. It works. You may lose some patience once in awhile, but they will learn one of the most important things in their lives . . . how to pass time without being a pain to everyone around them. You will have a lot of stress relieved, trust me.

Don’t think I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’ve had three kids and I raised them myself from ages 3,7, and 10 on to adulthood. They were good kids. I could take them places and be around people who didn’t like kids. They were welcome anywhere. Raise your kids to be welcome in any situation. It’s part of the job of a parent. They deserve to learn how to get along in the world.

I hope you enjoy your day and the rest of the weekend. Find something new to do. Read a book, see a movie, watch the Daytona 500 tomorrow, engage in life! You will never have time to be bored. Just don’t waste the precious time we all have in a day. Rather be overbooked than bored!

Thank you for reading today. I hope you return tomorrow. I’ll be here, hope to see you!

Happy Valentine’s Day

This is a big day for “love” and “lovers”. And card companies, and chocolate makers, retailers everywhere. A huge part of the population sometimes feels as if they are less than the rest of us who happen to have partners of one kind or another.

I remember being single on this day. I remember sitting at work while everyone in the office received flowers from their someone. Everywhere. Flowers. Candy. Cards. Stuffed Animals and Balloons, all sorts of things. I felt less than desirable, less than loved, and soldiered on to get through the day. I was always glad it was over. Being in a relationship and marriage, now it’s so different. Sometimes we forget to get a card for each other, it’s all good. Each and every day, we demonstrate the love we were lucky enough to find with each other. I remember those long, lonely years. And I know some day we will face losing our partner. And we will experience another kind of lonely.

God was very good to both of us. For all of you who are single by chance or by choice, it gets better. You will find someone who is perfect for you. Make sure you keep your standards high and don’t let your lonliness lead you to a bad relationship decision. The worst mistakes I have made were made out of lonliness. Think more highly of yourself. The lonliness will pass. The best company you can have is yourself. Once you are comfortable being alone, you will be better off. Trust me, it doesn’t last forever.

I do believe blind dates still have a place in our world today. I don’t think I’d be a good candidate for online dating if I were single. Too many lies. I’ve been lied to in person more than had truths told. I don’t want to be lied to electronically. The Babe is the first man I ever met who told the God’s honest truth all the time. That took a little getting used to. And now, I would expect it rather than just hope for it. That is what happens when you learn to value yourself. It’s the best lesson I’ve learned in my life.

Today, Mom had another good day at therapy. It’s helping a lot more than she realizes, and I think it’s good for her to get out more frequently than she has been. Sunday we get to have a new adventure at a family wedding shower. First time for Mom going to a winery. First time for everything.

Thank you for reading today, I’m grateful you stopped by. I will be here again tomorrow, please stop by. It’s always great to see old friends. Give your single friends a hug.

Hug your friends today. They need to be loved, too!